Faith and relevance in the 21st century

Category: Suffering (Page 3 of 4)

Confronting the lie: God won’t give you more than you can handle

This is the second article I’ve seen about this and I’m glad it’s being said more.

When you’re going through a crisis, the last thing you want to hear is someone saying that God will give you nothing more than you can handle. It’s insensitive and suggests that you’re not right with God or else God wouldn’t allow you this suffering.

When people go through unspeakable suffering, the best we can do is sit with them and let them know we are there for them. Don’t tell them you understand when you don’t. Saying things like that, while well-meaning, won’t be heard by the person suffering.

What does need to be clarified though is that we get through crises with God. I know that’s easy to say, and only those who have been through intense suffering can relate to it.

As St Paul says, “when I am weak, then I am strong.” And as the author says, it’s when we have nothing left that “the strength of the God of resurrection will be seen. Until we get to that point, we rely on ourselves thinking we can handle it and take care of the problem.”

Life is a choice

german-shepherds-watching-catLife is a choice.

We find that this is true especially when we struggle. It is through struggle that character can grow. In fact I would say that it is only in struggle that character can grow. We can choose to rise above our troubles or decide to be overcome by them. Rising above them doesn’t mean ignoring them and pushing them asunder. It means moving forward regardless of the storms of life that are swirling all around us.

One of my great heroes, and probably the most courageous person I have ever known of (apart from Jesus, who chose to go to the cross knowing full well what it would cost) is Martin Luther King. Check out this quote from King from his sermon, Antidotes for fear (Don’t worry about the gender-specific language. It was written in the language of the day. Of course this quote applies equally to women as to men):

“Courage faces fear and thereby masters it. Cowardice represses fear and is thereby mastered by it. Courageous men never lose the zest for living even through their life situation is zestless; cowardly men, overwhelmed by the uncertainties of life, lose the will to live. We must constantly build dikes of courage to hold back the flood of fear.”

Often when trouble strikes, we can feel overwhelmed, even paralysed, by fear. It has certainly happened to me. What I have found is that it is through the growing understanding that we are always ok in God’s sight, and slowly coming to the realisation that we can no longer deny God’s unconditional love for us, that we gain the courage to face whatever is in front of us. This can take years, and in reality, is never fully completed until the day we pass from this earth.

Courage is not the absence of fear though; it is admitting that you might be scared sh*tless but moving forward anyway. That’s where it is a choice. There is nothing wrong with being scared; it is when we allow our fears to overcome us that we never deal with the challenges we are facing.

One of the many examples of Dr King’s courage in the face of adversity is captured in this quote from a sermon he wrote while in jail for civil disobedience:

“Throw us in jail and we shall still love you. Bomb our homes and threaten our children, and we shall still love you. Send your hooded perpetrators of violence into our community at the midnight hour and beat us and leave us half dead, and we shall still love you. But be ye assured that we will wear you down by our capacity to suffer. One day we shall win freedom but not only for ourselves. We shall so appeal to your heart and conscience that we shall win you in the process and our victory will be a double victory.”

This is what love does, love born of the courage to face fear, look it full in the face and say, like Gandalf in The Lord of the Rings, “you shall not pass!”.

Life is a choice. God give me the courage to face it on its terms.

What losing my job taught me about grace

losing my job graceA couple of months ago I lost the job I love, at the organisation I have loved and worked at for 14 years. Needless to say, I was devastated.

Time Magazine ran an article earlier this year showing that losing your job can have worse effects on your mental health than divorce or the death of a spouse. That’s pretty big. The disruption to your inner life, not to mention your external life, can probably best be described as something of an earthquake.

My first reaction to being told was shock. A feeling of hot anxiety worked its way from my abdomen up to my face as I was confronted with the reality of my life being turned upside down.

I’d known of this happening before of course, both in the organisation I worked for and in others. We all know it happens all the time. I was determined to stay rational, and not let my emotions get the better of me.  Continue reading

A prayer for all who aren’t mothers

2484011508_ba8b22965a_zOn this day, as we celebrate the wonderfully selfless contributions of mothers the world over, this is a prayer for those for whom this day is racked with unbearable pain.

By Cheryl Lawrie

A prayer of love for those who aren’t mothers. Today may you know all you are.

A prayer of love for those who decided they wouldn’t be a mother because they dared not for fear they would replicate a world that tried to destroy them.

A prayer of love for those who did but not by choice, who had decision thrust upon them and now live searching for a love that will catch up to their truth.

A prayer of love for those who couldn’t, who tried but it never worked, and for those who did, but lost.

A prayer of love for those who never got the chance to even try and who with all the other pain that lives inside, today bear the fear of being someone else’s pity.

A prayer of love today for those who hear the word ‘mother’ with resentment, disappointment, guilt, fear, rage, horror, sadness, ambivalence, grief.

A prayer for those who cannot love their mother or their child and who no longer have the strength to try.

A prayer of love for those who have no day that speaks their worth, that tells their story, that reminds them they are also gift to the world.

A prayer of love for those who aren’t.

Today may you know all you are.

 

Waiting on God is hard, and that’s ok

This is an excellent article. Some of the best pieces are:

  • “God’s plan is perfected in the wait, and we, His people are reminded throughout the course of redemptive history ?A professor once said, ‘The whole of Christian life is becoming what God has already declared you to be.’ The wait you and I experience is not abnormal to the Christian life, but is part of the very essence of the Christian experience.”
  • “To us, the best solution to a painful wait is to resolve it. Bring me my spouse. Give me children. Fix our family drama. Yet, God uses these periods in our life to break us. Like Moses in the desert, Paul with his thorn, Jacob as he wrestled with God.”
  • “He breaks us to bless us. He breaks us so we can see Him. Through times of suffering, God is crushing our self-dependence and awakening our soul to the persistent reality of our need and how only He has ability to give us true joy. Yes, children are good. Marriage is good. Sex is good. Promotions are good. Friendships are good. But God is better.”
  • “This question must be asked in the midst of suffering, not after the fact: Today, when you don’t have the very thing you’ve prayed, longed, yearned for, can you find joy in Christ? Is the Gospel sufficient? The answer to this question reveals the object of your worship.”

Challenging stuff. God give me the courage to believe that You are enough.

Hope on earth

Joseph and Mary at the wallDriving home tonight listening to the ABC’s Newsradio, I heard about more fighting in South Sudan. In a country that is only two years old, tens of thousands of people are fleeing for their lives to get away from the conflict.

As I listened, first I felt somewhat numb. More bad news is nothing new, but at Christmas time it just hit me a bit more than it would normally. As I listened to the radio report, I recalled an image that is being spread around on Facebook of Joseph and Mary, pregnant with the Christ child, traveling to Bethlehem, but being blocked by the dividing wall that separates Israelis from Palestinians in that strife-torn land.

We live in such a world of conflict, hatred and self-centredness. Although official statistics say that the amount of conflicts in the world has dropped in recent years, there are still millions of people displaced, starving and being forced to do things against their will. And most of it is because of man’s inhumanity to man. Continue reading

How love transforms pain

transforming loveYesterday’s post looked at sitting with pain. It discussed the fact that in an analgesic society we have lost the ability to live life on life’s terms. So instead we do all we can to make ourselves feel better.

Having said what I did yesterday, I want to make clear that it is ok to make ourselves feel better at times, if it is in an appropriate way. Going to the footy or grabbing a chocolate bar is fine if it doesn’t take away from your growth as a person. Of course we need to be sensible about this. If you have an addiction to something, then obviously it is not healthy to indulge in that to make yourself feel better. That is the point I was making yesterday.

The best thing we can do however if we want to make ourselves feel better is to remind ourselves that we are loved beyond measure by the God of the universe. In his book, Inside Out, Larry Crabb says that when we are struck by the confusion of life, it is healthy to remind ourselves of God’s infinite love for us. That’s why being still and meditating on these truths is so beneficial, especially in our 24/7 culture that needs constant stimulation. Here is some of what Crabb says:

Cling to what you know is true. There is a God, He loves you, He sent His Son to die for your sins, He’s promised to never leave you, and one day He’ll return to make everything right. Remind yourself of these truths. In moments of soul-wrenching confusion [and I would add, pain], ponder the importance of these unchanging truths until they become burning realities in your soul.

Love is the most powerful transformative force in the universe. Surrendering all of our lives to God allows us to become more loving people, transformed more and more into the image of Christ. To become more loving is our ultimate goal in life. It is the highest reach for which the human person can attain. That’s why it’s so wonderful to remind ourselves of God’s incredible love for us.

Continue reading

The joy of pain

sad consumersWe live in an analgesic society. We have come to believe that when we feel pain we should do something to medicate it. We have tablets for everything. Got depression? Take some more anti-depressants. Over-stressed? Binge out on food, sex or drink. Long ago we lost the ability and the belief that sitting with pain can be a good thing. Please note that I am not saying things like anti-depressants are always a bad thing. Many people suffering the debilitating effects of depression and other mental illnesses need medication. The point I am making here is that our society is too quick to dole out tablets when other options can be more beneficial.

One of the pains we feel a lot in Western society is the pain of an empty soul. Many call it the God-shaped hole.We all have it, though many of us don’t feel it because we constantly cover it over with some sort of medication. Usually that medication involves immersing ourselves in the busyness and “wiredness” of daily life.

Our greatest fear in life seems to be the fear of missing out if we don’t always feel good. We are terrified of feeling pain, let alone sitting with it for periods at a time. We believe it is pointless, even masochistic. Why would anyone in their right mind want to consciously not get rid of pain they are feeling?

Life is painful a heck of a lot of the time. There are many days when we don’t feel good, when we don’t feel the pleasure that life can bring. We see others around us laughing and smiling. Are they really happier than us? Do they really have it more together than us and we are just struggling too much and need to get our act together? Or are these people in denial? Are they medicating their pain and not growing as a result?

And speaking of growing, when was the last time you heard anyone say that personal growth was a noble goal in life, rather than always trying to feel good? Unfortunately our churches are also often places where we are subtly (and not so subtly) given the message that life is about feeling good. We call it “the joy of the Lord.” If you’re not smiling all the time, if you’re struggling, you’re not right with God.

Continue reading

Anzac Day and the enduring hope of Christianity

As Jarrod McKenna says, we don’t honour the diggers if we forget the horrors of war. I have generally had mixed feelings about Anzac Day. As I think about it though, I think it’s important to honour the diggers for their incredible bravery. It is an example for us to live lives of courage in a non-violent way, in a way that promotes relationship and love. Simon Smart from the Centre for Public Christianity does this well in this brief comparison of what Anzac Day shares with the Christian message.

A Christmas compendium of reading

Source: http://dispatchesfromreality.com/2010/12/24/the-real-war-on-christmas-american-consumerism/Here is a list of wonderful articles/devotions mostly related to Christmas. Some very interesting reading over this season:

Richard Rohr – We Prepare for the Messiah

I receive Richard Rohr’s daily emails and they are generally brilliant. The quote that really hit me from this one is “We are all crowded on one limited planet and must somehow learn to live together while also maintaining the common earth beneath our six billion pairs of feet.” Makes me realise again how learning to live in peace is just plain sense.

George Monbiot – The Gift of Death

Another typically confronting, in-your-face piece from this environmental journalist/campaigner. In this article he shows how disastrous is our absolute obsession with stuff. The article’s tagline is “Pathological consumption has become so normalised that we scarcely notice it.” Says it all (but still read the article. You will be challenged).

Christianity Today – Misreading the Magnificat

This relates to my Christmas reflection I posted earlier today in which I bemoaned the fact that a wonderful Christmas show I attended at a major church in Melbourne last week didn’t even mention Mary’s song. This article is a good reminder of how we either over-spiritualise the Bible or selectively omit pieces that don’t fit with our way of thinking.

The Age – The Christmas Commandments

A wonderful take on what God might think of how far we have drifted from what Christmas is really about. Complete with King James language and all.

The Age – Choosing Church at Christmas

An insightful piece on the importance of Christmas for our society, no matter what your spirituality or lack of.

The Age – An Abundant Life

Barney Zwartz writes on what an abundant life actually is. Jesus’ statement in John 10:10 has been used and misused over many years to mean a number of things. Zwartz writes in his typically accessible way to show us what all the research and experiences of people’s lives tell us about abundance.

Reasons for God – How Jesus Responds to Tragedy

A fantastic piece from the equally fantastic Reasons for God site. This one is not so much about Christmas, but it definitely relates to it. It looks at the way Jesus responds to tragedy in the light of the Newtown shootings. God came to earth to save us from this.

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